Consistently, Inconsistent

Over the past year, I've really beaten myself up because I'll start something and not finish it. For instance, I planned on posting this blog earlier this year and decided to blog about something else. What I've also noticed is that when I am inconsistent, I tend to miss out on something that could have been for me. *sighs loudly*

I am consistently, inconsistent.. often.

Especially with creative ideas, books I want to read or even calling someone. I allow other things to take me from what I intended to do. But it's weird-- I'm extremely consistent when it comes to facebook or tweeting.. or even watching shows that harm brain cells! You know--things that probably won't impact my quality of life? You get the picture.

Today, I made a vow to myself to be consistent with something, daily. If I start the laundry-- I probably should dry, fold and put them away, in one day.

How can I plan to plant a seed of consistency in our little ones, when I don't water my own consistent seeds?

Just wanted to encourage you to be consistent. Start something and finish it. If you have a letter that you need to write, put down the phone and write the letter. If you have a goal to start a blog-- come up with ideas and implement them. It may be a lazy spirit or a tired one, but find ways to regain energy and finish what you've started. You never know what value your consistency has on the next person.

Folding Clothes,
~Mrs. G

"In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently." Anthony Robbins

On Being Different

I compare my life to women I know, daily.

Why can't my mother help me like her's can? Why can't I go like my sorors can? Why can't we have a house like so many of our friends? And what I keep hearing about these comparisons? #Ecclesiastes 11:5

I keep trying to fit in and to feel included...

I keep trying to be a part of the in-crowd...

I keep trying to do what they do... wear what she wears, look how she looks, go where she goes.

And then, I look in the mirror and it’s plain as day.

I'm Different.

Not because I'm the only child. Not because my mother is blind. Not because my husband is a minister.

But because God has His hand on me.

To be included... In His family.

To be apart... Of His 'in' crowd.

To do...what He wants me to do.

I'm called.

No, not to preach. But to be different-- set apart. To love me.. all of me. To be confident in who I am. I can't be like her-- my circumstances aren't hers and my life, is my life. Today, I boldly write that my calling is to be confident in who I am. To make my life meaningful, not because of what I wear or my family circumstance but by being a supporting and loving wife, a teaching and caring mother, an honest and devoted daughter/granddaughter and a great friend--regardless of how I feel..but because God called me.

Yep, I'm different. And I like it!
~Mrs. G

A Letter to My Granny

Hi Granny,

I miss you! It's been a very long time since we had a fruitful conversation--one where I share my joys and fears and where you implement your favorite and most anointed phrase-- "Hold to God's Unchanging Hand."

Life has been different these past few years. I find myself sad so often--because life changes so much! And while I appreciate and am motivated by change, somethings, like you, I never thought would or wanted to change. It hurts that God has our family going through so many things at once--I want to be you, but Granny,you have big..huge shoes to fill! :)

You would be happy to know, that I cook breakfast for Jocelyn on Saturday and Sunday mornings.. that she wears dresses to church and that her ears are clean. And, Jeremy has gained a little bit of weight. I still can't cook candy yams or make your dressing but I can bake a good cake and a mean pancake! I'm still taking care of Mom--not physically but emotionally, just like you taught me. I listen and pray, love her and laugh (with and at her).

I pray like you taught me and read my bible every morning-- I don't get on my knees like you did until your knees got bad (like 3 years ago) but I listen in church and don't turn around to see who's coming in the door. :)-- Even Jocelyn claps and shouts "Hallelujah" from time to time.

Oh-- I created a team for you for the Alzheimer's Association walk here in Durham-- Jeremy, Jocelyn, some friends and myself have signed up to walk for you and others who suffer from this disease. We even had friends who donated!! It's important for me to do something since I'm not a neurologist and can't find a cure for you, you know?

I hope I've made you proud, Granny-- you've taught me so much! I look forward to being you to my grandchildren in 25-30 years.

Be good and nice to the other ladies on your floor! I love you-- so much!

Your baby,
Ash

There's Power in Patience

Welp-- patience is truly a virtue. When relocating to Durham, as you know, I did not have a job. Within 20 days of us being here, I was hired as a Purchasing Assistant for Procurement here at Duke, ordering medical and athletic supplies for the health system and the athletic department. And to say the least, I was so unhappy because I felt like I worked hard to obtain a Master's degree and felt like I shouldn't have to start over in an administrative role. So--I looked for jobs, I cried- a lot and asked God, why is this happening? I applied to several jobs, took the Praxis 2 to become a licensed school counselor--anything to utilize my degree and to work a job where I was happy, mentally, emotionally, etc.

At the beginning of this year, I prayed and declared to God that by August 1, I wanted to be in a different position--one where I could utilize the talents God provided but also to pay back my school loans! :) And then.. July came and time moved so fast. I started wondering if I would ever leave this position. But the Spirit kept telling me to be patient.. to pray and to praise. And on July 7, I applied for a job that had its base in the Divinity School. I applied and after two interviews, much prayer and very little talking, I was offered the position! I am sooo grateful! And once again, I have learned a lesson in patience

The position is a Program Coordinator for Leadership Education at Duke Divinity. I coordinate a summer program that teaches rising juniors the purpose of worship, ordinances of the church in addition to procurement responsibilities. How cool is that?! It's sooo me!

I thank God that He heard my declaration for a new position by August 1; I praise God because He taught me to again, be patient and to depend on Him; I honor God because He taught me to fight for what I want. I'm grateful. I say this to say-- pray, praise and honor God--before while in the storm. And, most of all, be patient! What He does for one, He'll do for you!

Patiently Coordinating,
~Mrs. G

The Central Perspective-10 Years Later

This weekend the EC Central Class of 2001 will hold our 10 year class reunion. And due to circumstances beyond our control, I am unable to end this monumental event and I am sad about it. While I don't have the fondest memories of high school, my senior year is where I began to flourish and realize that life exists outside of high school. My senior year, I served as the editor of the school newspaper. I was instrumental in making sure our school newspaper was a source of fun, information and opinions. So as a tribute to my class I wanted to provide some headlines from over the last 10 years-- Cheers to the Class of 2001!

2001 8/26-R&B Singer Aaliyah killed in plane crash; 9/11- Terrorists strike the World Trade Centers in NY with plane crashes in Penn and VA killing 3,000.

2002 9/11-- 9/11- One Year Later: Now What?; 10/24/ John Muhammad and Lee Malvo AKA Beltway Snipers are captured after a terrifying 3 week shooting spree along I-95. Deaths: Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes.

2003 3/19-War in Iraq begins; 6/4Martha Stewart indicted for obstructing a federal investigation;12/13-Suddam Hussein, former president of Iraq is captured. Deaths: Nell Carter (Actress Gimme a Break); Nina Simone (Songstress); Barry White (Singer); Frank O'Bannon (Former Indiana Governor)

2004 2/1- New England Patriots win the Superbowl (and go to Disney World); 2/4-Facebook was founded in Cambridge, Mass at Harvard U; 2/12 San Francisco issues marriage licenses for same-sex couples; 11/19-Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers engage in a brawl, causing Ron Artest to be suspended for the rest of the season; 12/26- World's largest earthquake hits Southeast Asia killing 186,983. Deaths: 11/13-Ol' Dirty Bastard (Rapper)

2005-- Many of us graduate from College! :) 1/20-George Bush inaugurated into a 2nd presidential term; 4/25 Pope Benedict XVI succeeds; 8/29- Hurricane Katrina hits the Golf (including New Orleans, LA) killing 1836- several still unaccounted for. Deaths: 1/23- Johnny Carson (Late Night Talk Host); 3/22-Clemente Dominguez y Gomez (Spanish spiritual leader); 3/29-Johnny Cochran (Lawyer known for the OJ Simpson Trial); 4/2-Pope John Paul II (Pope of the Roman Catholic Church); 7/1-Luther Vandross (Singer)

2006 (My high school sweetheart and I got married!)-2/19-69 miners are killed following an explosion in Nueva Rosita, Mexico; 11/5 Former Iraq President Suddam Hussein is sentenced to death by handing; Deaths: 1/30- Coretta Scott King (wife of Civil Rights Leader, Martin Luther King, Jr.); 6/23- Aaron Spelling (Creator of Beverly Hills 90210); 12/30-Suddam Hussein

2007 Not much activity in 2007 to report about.. Deaths: 2/8-Anna Nicole Smith (Former Model/Socialite); 3/12 Antonio Ortiz Mena- Mexican Politician; 5/15-Yolanda King (daughter of Martin and Coretta King); 6/14-Ruth Bell Graham (wife of Billy Graham); 12/4- Pimp C (Rapper)

2008 1/2-petroleum (gas) hits $100 a barrel for the first time; 2/3-US Stock Market plunges 3% after inquiry into an economic recession; 2/19-Fidel Castro resigns; 5/3- over 100,000 killed by Cyclone Nargis in Burmar/Myanmar; 8/8-24- Summer Olympics held in Beijing; 11/4 President Barack Obama is elected 44th President of the United States--the first African-American to hold this office. Deaths: 1/22- Heath Ledger (Actor, Brokeback Mountain); 7/22-Estelle Getty (Actress, Golden Girls); 8/9-Bernie Mac (Comedian);

2009 1/20-the First African American President-Barack Obama is inaugurated in Wasthington, DC. 4/24-World Health Organization concerned about influenza traveling from US and Mexico (later known as West Nile Virus); 9/29-30 Earthquake triggers a tsunami near Samoan Islands killing 189 and 1,000 in Indonesia. Deaths: 3/18-Natasha Richardson (Actress/wife of Liam Neeson); 4/25-Bea Arthur (Actress, Golden Girls); 6/25- Farrah Fawcett (Actress- Charlie's Angels)/Michael Jackson (American Pop Star/humanitarian); 7/17- Walter Cronkite (Journalist); 9/14-Patrick Swayze (Actor-Ghost); 11/16-Antonio de Nigris (Mexican Footballer); 12/20-Brittany Murphy (Actress- Clueless)

2010 1/12-7.0 magnitude earthquake hits the island of Haiti killing 230,000; 2/12-28- Winter Olympics are held in Vancouver & Whistler Canada; 2/27-8.8 magnitude earthquake hits Chile, causing a tsunami over the Pacific killing 497; 7/28-Wikileaks releases over 90,000 internal documents concerning the war in Afghanistan; 8/10-World Health Organization declares the H1N1 Influenza pandemic over. 8/5-10/12-69 Chilean miners trapped underground for 69 days-- survived and were rescued. Deaths- 1/13-Teddy Pendergrass; 1/27-JD Salinger (Author); 5/9-Lena Horne (Actress/Musician); 5/28-Gary Coleman (Actor-Different Strokes); 6/3-Rue McClanahan (Actress-Golden Girls); 11/29-Leslie Nelson (Actor-Top Gun); 12/26-Teena Marie (Songstress)

2011 (the first half)- 3/11-9.1 magnitude earthquake hits Japan causing a tsunami killing over 15,000 and 8,000 missing; 5/1-Osama Bin Laden-terrorist and mastermind behind 9/11 is killed and buried at sea. 7/21-Space Shuttle Atlantis completes the NASA Space Shuttle program. Deaths: 5/15-Nate Dogg (Rapper); 5/23- Elizabeth Taylor (Actress); 6/23-Peter Faulk (Actor-Colombo); 7/23-Amy Winehouse (Songstress).

Reminiscing,
~Mrs. G

T-E-S-T-imony.com

DISCLAIMER: This post is in no way to show sympathy toward our situation but to testify to the Power of Prayer, Trusting God and understanding struggle is important. Please pray for us--that's all I(we) ask.

Durham has provided many ups and downs, lessons in Faith, strength in our marriage and leaning on the power of God. While it seems like we've had more downs than ups (to me), God has revealed so much to us. I feel like I've cried out for God more than I have in my entire life. Jeremy and I have worked extremely hard at Faith Traveling but I figure in order for me to understand God more, I needed to testify.

In the past year: we've met new friends, explored churches, worked jobs that we both appreciate and hope for better, established various relationships, listened and pleaded with God, found favor with our daycare, had multiple disconnect notices, two eviction notices, two impaired cars, one unhealthy spouse, one exploring toddler, two unemployed mothers, experienced divorces, witnessed births both near and far, skyped with loved ones, prayed for each other, shouted at each other, emailed, facebooked, youtubed and g-chatted blogs, scriptures, resumes, requests, and pictures.

Now--I've shared some of these Gilmore moments with you because the things that seem impossible (no place to live, one car, familial issues) God has provided. He has shown me that our testimony of faith, progress, struggle and favor may help the married couple who wrestle with leaving their family or that being uncomfortable comes with a price but a great reward at the end or that you have to do what you have to do, to grow in Him and most importantly, within yourself.

My hope in this post is to empower you to share your TESTimony or if you don't have a TESTimony, hopefully, our TESTimony will provide you with the skills to endure. I would love to hear your testimonies, so email me at gilmore06@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section. You never know who may be encouraged by what God is doing in your life.

TESTed,
~Mrs.G

Complaining 101

So... it's hard writing a blog. You know why?

Because people hold you ACCOUNTABLE! Yes--that's that ugly 11 letter word that we adults attempt to shy from.

I've blogged about faith and holding on; having a Dora like testimony and thanking God for showing up and showing out.

But-- I find myself complaining every. single. Day. About something. And, it scares me.

I do not like my job.

Our finances are under where they should be.

We've been in school all of our 20's! And will have tons of loans to back.

We're away from family and friends (physically, spiritually and emotionally).

And..the list can go on.

And then I looked in the mirror and I got scared. How can I write about holding on and keeping your faith when I complain about everything? And then God gently reminded me on Friday and said…

But you do have a job (people don't relocate and get a job in 20 days.)

I've supplied all of your needs and even some wants.

And in your 20's--you learned, grew and followed Me. And by your 30's you'll be done with school, debt free. (Hallelujah!)

You are a family.

So--in this lesson of Complaining 101--don't do it. You may soon find that once you begin complaining about what you do have, God finds it hard to bless you with more. (Luke 12:48b).

Lord, please forgive me for not appreciating what You have blessed me with. I apologize that I feel what I have, is not good enough or that I covet my friends because they have newer cars, homes or are close to their families. Create in me a clean and thankful heart. Thank You most of all, for showing me myself and for standing behind, in front, and around me when I forget that I am Your child. I rebuke a negative and complaining spirit and I speak words of life, positivity and thankfulness into my life.
Forgive me Father.

Apologetic,
~Mrs. G