This week, my husband (Jeremy) and I will celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. Being married over the last 3 years has definitely taught me a lot about myself and what it takes to be a wife.
In these three years, ladies.. I have come to learn and understand the steps that a women must take for God to send her a husband.. While I am not perfect and have (and will continue) to make many mistakes in my own marriage.. there are ten things that I feel led to share with you on understanding God's plan for blessing you with a mate.
1. Know who God is first! Maya Angelou has this saying.. "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her." This is so true! As women, we have to be in love with the ultimate MAN first.. GOD! Once you truly love Him.. your mate will love Him and eventually you too. The bible says, "A Man that findth a wife, findth a good thing."
2. Know who you are. As women (especially African-American women), we struggle with balancing the home, children, life, family and get lost in who we are. Before you can know what you are looking for in a man, know who you are as a woman. It's no easy task, but it's so worth it!
3. Love you! Forgive you! Trust you! These three verbs can be the hardest things for a woman to do.. embrace yourself; move past the people (men) or even yourself, who have wronged you; and learn to place confidence in yourself. Journal these feelings.. become a blogger (lol!) But.. learn how to love, forgive and trust yourself..
4. Leave the baggage behind! Yes! We all have baggage! No one comes into a relationship without baggage! *Remember that Mary J. Blige commercial, where all the Mary's are in her new truck and she leaves those Louis Vutton bags on a stoop? We must have the wisdom to leave many things behind. Think about it? What man wants a woman with so much baggage, it's wearing her, him and the relationship down? All them bags, gone hurt your back (and ultimately your heart).
5. A man is not for you to find.. it's for God to send. In a nutshell, this man will find you (refer to #1). Going to the club is not going to find you the man that you deserve..
6. Don't be extra this or not enough of that. So, you're asking yourself: what is she talking about? From talking to Jeremy and studying relationships, I've come to understand that men are visual creatures. When a man sees a woman, with too much make up and not enough personality; or too small clothes and not enough confidence or even too big clothes and not enough lip gloss.. they're turned off! Jeremy always tells me to keep it simple. Now, for some, that's a struggle but trust and believe.. the more simple the gift wrap, the better the gift is when he opens it.
7. Understand that men are not perfect. Yes, ladies.. they're not. But.. God designed them the way they are, for a reason!
8. God will send you a man that is unattached. When you go searching for a man, you're bound to find one with so much drama.. you begin to think it's ok to be in a drama filled relationship. It's not! A Godly relationship has conflicts and miscommunication, but DRAMA is just unnecessary!
9. Pre-marital sex does not guarantee you a mate. Yes.. it's the pot calling the kettle black (I've done my dirt before I was married but that in no way makes it easier for me to tell you that sex before marriage is wrong). God ordained sex to be an intimate connection between a man and his wife. 1 Cor 7:9 says, "It's better to marry than to burn." That does not mean, go get married to have sex, but understand why you feel the need to have sex before you're committed to this person anyway.. if God sent him, sex can wait..
10. When you're mate comes.. you'll know. Don't rush. While there are great things about being married.. know that, to whom much is given, much is required. There's no turning back at the altar..
I know this blog got a little (well, a lot ;) long but it's important to share with you, that being found.. is a blessing! God's timing is impeccable and when it's time for you to have a mate, you'll know.
Til next week,
~Mrs. G
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