For Cheryl

During my freshmen year at Purdue, my Upward Bound family & I received news that the director of the program, Cheryl Berry, had died by her own hands in her office at Purdue Calumet. My roommate and I got all of our UB fam together to process what happened. The following weekend, we all traveled back home for her funeral. I remember (like it was yesterday) walking into the church and getting sad and angry-- so when I walked to the casket-- I told her that.. "I'm so mad at you.. I'm so mad at you, Cheryl." Jamie had to pull me away and we sat together like children, who were burying their mother. And in some ways, she was like our mother. She brought us into the program, told us what to do, spoke college into us, yelled at us and got on our nerves! But, Cheryl was also funny and honest. So when she committed suicide, it was so strange and foreign. No one remotely close to me had died by their own hands and it was not a good feeling. I felt some peace as I spoke at her funeral but I was still unsure of how to process all of this.

I spent days wondering what happened or what we (her students) did that could make her do something so-- permanent. And after talking it through with a trusted source, I began to realize that suicide is something that is not easily explained.

Over the last 10 years, I've known of people who've taken this drastic step because of something that is causing them so much pain, they feel like life is too much. And in that, I've always wondered what I could have done in my last conversation (if I've known them) to encourage them to remember that tomorrow is a new day and that life is worth living. Or what to say to the family member or friend, who feels the blame. Especially when they are unsure if they'll ever see them again. But who are we to answer any of these questions? Only God knows where a person will go after their time on earth has ended.

I write today because a good friend has had to experience this in her work setting just last week-- and she's had to deal with questions that only God can answer. Her sorrow, became our sorrow and I felt like I needed to say something. 

I just didn't know what.

But, one thing I do know-- is to be careful what we say. Life and death (literally) are in the power of the tongue. Build someone up before you bully them. Parents-- love on your children and encourage them to love on their peers. Remind them that regardless of what shoes they or someone else has on or even their lifestyle choice, their life is precious and worth living.

Call someone you haven't spoken too in a while and speak life in them. 

You just may be saving their life.

For Cheryl,
~Mrs. G