You know.. today has truly been a test of patience. And, I think.. no, I know I failed. My granny is visiting for the Easter holiday and to give my mom a break. When she came to visit while Jeremy was in Africa (by the way check out his blog..
www.faithtravels.blogspot.com), things were ok for the most part. During that visit however, I knew the Alzheimer's has claimed some more brain cells and that this battle, was only going to get worse. My granny told me that I was not her granddaughter and basically, she didn't know who I was. Because I was so busy, I couldn't cry or even think about it until I was on my way back to Bloomington and it hurt.. To know the granny, I love so dearly.. my homie.. didn't and couldn't return that love. Alzheimer's is a beast!
Fast forward to today.. I brought my granny back to Bloomington and I think I may be regretting that move. When I met my Aunt in Indianapolis to pick granny up, she was wearing a gown and said it was a dress.. I knew then, in just 3 short weeks, she was deteriorating, quickly. When we got home, the stuff hit the fan! She thought I was her sister and just snapped! I became all types of names.. liar, thief, low-down and what made it worse.. she told Jocelyn was not my daughter.. in front of my daughter! Now.. you may think that is not a big deal or she's not in her right mind.. but, it js hard to still deal with that! So, the virtue of patience kicks in. Instead of yelling back, I calmly explained to my granny that she has a disease that causes her to not remember who I am, where she is or what day of the week it is. That did not calm her down and she said she was leaving (now, here I did get huffy.. but not loud) So.. in an effort to maintain my coolness, Jocey and I left the house. I tried to call my best friends and just like I knew He would, God allowed both to be busy. So, I drove in silence and prayed for strength and extra patience.
I know the Lord is teaching me how to be patient and to understand the aging process, but its getting hard.. and, I'm losing it.. slowly. So, please, please, PUH-lease pray that I am able to maintain sanity this week, not only for my own health, but for my family. When my grandmother leaves, we have to still live here and we like our peace! Lift us up, ya'll..it's hard out here in B-town!
Losing Patience,
~Mrs. G
