I am a jealous person. I will admit it. I get so frustrated when I think
about where Jeremy and I are as we are approaching 30 and then look at many of
our friends who are 30 and so much more established. The houses, new cars,
money to travel, new clothes, very low or no daycare bill-- I hate myself for
feeling this way. But, yes, I wake up at least once a week, green with envy
that many in our support system have so much.
But what makes me even more frustrated is that, I know better!! I know
that what God will do for one, He'll do it for others. But why does it have to
be such a slow process?
Then it dawned on me, over the past few weeks. I don't give, genuinely. I
give with the expectation to receive something back-- like I'm loaning my
tithes to God. Wow. That concept is so convicting! No-- my tithes are my
reimbursement to Him for blessing me with my job (and it's the word!). My
offering is my contribution to my church to help the church
be blessing the community and to my Pastor.
My motives are so wrong! How can I expect God to provide for me but I give
half-heartedly? Sometimes, my worship is half-hearted; sometimes my
loving is half-hearted and yes, sometimes my faith is half-hearted. The bible
gives many examples of how to live, generously and I have failed at some of
these tasks.
Lord, forgive me for wanting to give to receive. Teach me to give generously
and give of my time, tithes and talents..for the right reason. To please You
and only You. Thank You that you are merciful and continue to show
Yourself.
Examining my heart,
~Mrs. G
Romans 12:7-9
(NLT)--If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If
your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give
generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the
responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to
others, do it gladly. Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
Luke 6:37-39 (NLT)-Do
not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or
it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be
forgiven. Give,
and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed
down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured
into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get
back.
