The First Lady

I have finally come to the realization that I will add one more title to Ashley: Wife, Mother, Daughter, Granddaughter, Sister, Te-Te, Friend, Blogger and... Pastor's Wife/First Lady.

I have been dreading this title since May 23, 2004 when Jeremy preached his first sermon. From then on, every time he preached, I felt like I needed to look/act a certain way. I hated that stigma that the preacher's wife has to be (insert your adjective here). And when God spoke to me about supporting my husband, I listened but I prayed more about him working in prison and mission ministry-- meaning, I wouldn't have to deal with the expectations of 'church folk.'

Then.. it happened, God told Jeremy he was going to seminary at Duke and that he would eventually pastor. Much to my dismay, I heard the same thing and followed God and my husband. Thus, here are we, preparing for ministry-- in the church--as the Pastor and 'First Lady'.

Yep-- I don't like that title. At all. Why? Well-- I'm glad you asked.

When you become the first lady of something, people (church folk) expect you to do what they want you to do. (Ask Michelle Obama). They want you to look how they want you to look or what role they want you to play in church. Some of them have ideas on how they think you should raise your children-- see, I can't!

Now-- these were somethings I experienced as a child. As an adult, I have become more confident in who I am as Jeremy's wife, Jocelyn's mother, etc. But there's still this cloud that hangs over me when mentally preparing for this role. How will people see me, when I don't feel obligated to attend Wednesday bible study? Who will approach me if my daughter gets out of hand? What happens if I decide to not wear stockings with my skirt? What if I want to wear a big blow-out? (that's a blog for another day) Or...

How will I feel at the end of the day, when Jeremy is up preparing a eulogy for a parent who's lost a child? What will I say to Jocelyn when her father is traveling out of the country for ministry for a few weeks? What happens if I'm upset with Jeremy and have to put on a smile for the church?

These questions make me cringe. But today, I'm reminded, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done," Phil 4:6. My role first and foremost is to be the woman of our home. Regardless of what parishioners think about me, my children-- and even my husband, my role is to support, love and encourage them. I'm not married to the church-- I'm married to Jeremy Gilmore and my first ministry is to serve God and to be what Jeremy needs me to be.

So, 'church folk'-- be a friend or a prayer warrior for your pastor's wife. She may be the first lady of the church, but she's his first lady everyday. And that is a ministry--all by itself.

JAG's first lady,
~Mrs. G