The First Lady

I have finally come to the realization that I will add one more title to Ashley: Wife, Mother, Daughter, Granddaughter, Sister, Te-Te, Friend, Blogger and... Pastor's Wife/First Lady.

I have been dreading this title since May 23, 2004 when Jeremy preached his first sermon. From then on, every time he preached, I felt like I needed to look/act a certain way. I hated that stigma that the preacher's wife has to be (insert your adjective here). And when God spoke to me about supporting my husband, I listened but I prayed more about him working in prison and mission ministry-- meaning, I wouldn't have to deal with the expectations of 'church folk.'

Then.. it happened, God told Jeremy he was going to seminary at Duke and that he would eventually pastor. Much to my dismay, I heard the same thing and followed God and my husband. Thus, here are we, preparing for ministry-- in the church--as the Pastor and 'First Lady'.

Yep-- I don't like that title. At all. Why? Well-- I'm glad you asked.

When you become the first lady of something, people (church folk) expect you to do what they want you to do. (Ask Michelle Obama). They want you to look how they want you to look or what role they want you to play in church. Some of them have ideas on how they think you should raise your children-- see, I can't!

Now-- these were somethings I experienced as a child. As an adult, I have become more confident in who I am as Jeremy's wife, Jocelyn's mother, etc. But there's still this cloud that hangs over me when mentally preparing for this role. How will people see me, when I don't feel obligated to attend Wednesday bible study? Who will approach me if my daughter gets out of hand? What happens if I decide to not wear stockings with my skirt? What if I want to wear a big blow-out? (that's a blog for another day) Or...

How will I feel at the end of the day, when Jeremy is up preparing a eulogy for a parent who's lost a child? What will I say to Jocelyn when her father is traveling out of the country for ministry for a few weeks? What happens if I'm upset with Jeremy and have to put on a smile for the church?

These questions make me cringe. But today, I'm reminded, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done," Phil 4:6. My role first and foremost is to be the woman of our home. Regardless of what parishioners think about me, my children-- and even my husband, my role is to support, love and encourage them. I'm not married to the church-- I'm married to Jeremy Gilmore and my first ministry is to serve God and to be what Jeremy needs me to be.

So, 'church folk'-- be a friend or a prayer warrior for your pastor's wife. She may be the first lady of the church, but she's his first lady everyday. And that is a ministry--all by itself.

JAG's first lady,
~Mrs. G

A Modern Day Proverbs 31 Woman

I have been blessed to serve as the Co-Coordinator for the Duke Divinity Spouse Group Bible Study. This semester, the Lord directed us to study Women of the Bible in the Old Testament and last night was our final bible study until January. My Co-Coordinator (S/O to Jessica :) suggested we write a remix to the Virtuous Women Proverb. With Debs, Megan and Karen, we worked at making sure our piece was familiar yet contemporary. The other two teams were amazing as well but I decided to share ours. Enjoy! And-- we hope you take something from it!

Who can find a good woman?
She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband trusts her;
because of her, he'll find success.
Together, they are content and joyous.
She's a worker, a good provider
She's not afraid to get her hands dirty.
She gives the best of everything.
She's the best at what she does and
she makes everyone look good.
She's selfless and reaches out to those in need.
Because of her hard work & elegant handy work,
her husband is respected in the community.
Because of her work in the home, her husband prospers.
Strength and dignity are her clothes
and she laughs at the time to come.
She's like.. "Bring It On!"
When she speaks, wisdom
When she she teaches, kindness.
Confident & gentle.
She's not lazy, she watches her household.
She's blessed among women, by her husband and children.
Charm & beauty won't get you anywhere.
Beware of Botox, it requires constant attention.
Inner beauty lasts forever.
The woman who respects the Lord, shall be praised
The results of all her efforts are her best eulogy.

Virtuous,
~Mrs. G